Selfish Soul

How's this selfishness of yours,
That you don't take the sun, nor take the shade
How's this selfishness of yours,
that your feet don't stay anywhere?


You've tried being your own God,
and crossed all seven seas,
Still there is a draught within your heart,
Why is it so?

I ask you to listen to me,
Believe me.
Come, your shadows too are calling you back.
Listen to me,
Believe me.
What a loveless and ruthless person you are!

That broken cot,
that cool breeze from the east, Awaits you.
That milk cream
The pot full of earthen water still waits
The whole Sukhiganj searches for you even today.

How's this selfishness of yours,
That you don't take the sun, nor take the shade
How's this selfishness of yours,
that your feet don't stay anywhere?


How's this selfishness of yours,
Neither salt nor sugar fit on your tongue
How's this selfishness of yours,
That you have forgot old love..
O free man, free spirit,
You're a storm of wind..
then why have you ended
within yourself only?

The Girl on the Street

I don't remember the last time when I shared a personal experience with you all but this time even though I am consoling myself that I shouldn't be sharing it's just happening.
I was returning from my cousin's place when while entering my house I saw a girl wearing a night dress sitting on the street and crying. I asked the driver to stop when he said, ' Didi, I think she fell off from the cycle.' Even my mind paced forward wondering that since I saw a cycle placed beside her. As the car turned to my surprise I noticed that she belonged to our neighborhood. I saw her many a times during cultural festivals and pujas. She was may be two years younger to me.

I called out my mother and I asked her about that girl. She mentioned that she knew nothing about it. I decided to go to her and my driver followed. My mother prohibited me several times not to go to her and that she was big enough to get up and go home but I doubted when I saw her brother peeping from between the walls.

I went towards her and saw a white fluid running down from her mouth. I instantly called her few times and she looked at me with keen eyes. I felt so weak when I gazed at her. I shouted for my mother and father and few people from the neighborhood came forward. By this time she lay flat on the road murmuring something. Did she have anything poisonous? I caught hold of her and asked her what happened but what she uttered were, ' Didi, they will not let me live alone. You are a girl right? You can understand it right? I just wanted to live alone. '

I couldn't understand a thing. I asked her brother to call someone from her family. When her father came out she stretched her hands and asked me to pull her up. I held her hands and that touch was so earthly and metallic. She wanted to convey something. My father asked her father what has happened to her but I was damn sure when he made up a story telling that while she was returning from school few boys made her eat something and after that she sometimes behaved normal and otherwise like this. When we did further enquiries we received no answer.

In normal cases if a girl is suffering like this and the family knowing visits a doctor, files a complaint and seeks help but here things were different entirely. If few boys tortured her there was supposed to be a police complain made. They were supposed to seek medication but the girl lay there helpless and I still couldn't do anything.
I pulled her up and crying she hugged me telling,' You are a woman Didi, you can understand my pain.'



There was something wrong with her father as whenever her father came towards her she pushed her away. I looked at him and he put his eyes down. That Time I realized that really a father can be a guidelight, a father can be a friend, a father can also be a rapist and a father can also be a torturer.
Her brother took her inside after much difficulty. The father followed inside. Her spit lay on the street and I choked. In spite of being a woman was I really able to understand that girl's inner thoughts, pains and silent demonstrations?

                            

                                     The Dance

It was summer time and Reeta sat near the window of her room. Her daughter's summer vacations would commence today. Her duty was to bring her home from school. She did not worry a bit. The sun rays reflected on her face and the bangles tinkled against her shadowy skin when she moved it in a grace. Yes, she loved to dance. She stood near the mirror and smiled at herself. 

'Reeta you need to bring Nikita from school. It's already time' her mother-in-law shouted from downstairs. 

She smiled at herself again and started to tap her feet to the tune of a raga. She moved around. The Anarkali she wore whirled in a whirlwind. Her hands outstretched on both directions and made different angles with her face with mingled mudras. 

She stopped to switch on the music player. She gave her heart to the dance. 'Tannan...nana...na...na na na re...Tanan na na re...' her heart melted in joy. 

'Reeta where are you???' she bellowed. 

The eyes above curled, the eyebrows danced to the tune and she felt everything to it's paramount. 

From childhood she wanted to dance Bharathanatiyam, a dream she dreamed! Girls of their age would dance...O my God! That was a sin for the family members to allow that. 

Reeta killed her passion each day in front of the decision of their parents. If she fell in love with anything then it was dance. Now time changed, her world changed. She went on stretching her hands on opposite directions to the tunes to swirl in a whirlpool. The tap of her feet and the hands on her hip was an ecstasy to watch. 

The day when Rakesh and family came to visit her was the worst thing which ever fell on her. Her mother-in-law loved her eyes. She mentioned it was just like the touch of an artist who went to paint Mas Durga's ogle. But she loved dance. Only and only dance.

When Rakesh and Reeta were sent to a room to give each other some space, Reeta spoke with a hope of love that he would allow her to open a dance school after marriage. He simply nodded. She understood what he meant. She forced a smile and agreed for the marriage only to make her parents happy. 

'Reeta what is this noise all about?' her mother-in-law seemed to come upstairs. 

She was engaged in her dream. Her dream of love, passion and desire. No one could ever stop her today. The wind blew through the windows and her hair waved in a sashay. Her lips imparted a cheer to her face. Her visage was clean of all worries and troubles. She was into an unknown world, the world of Nataraj!

Her mother-in-law suddenly entered her bedroom and spoke with anger and disgust after switching off the music player.  'You bitch, you whore, what do you think? You are again dancing.' She kept on dancing still, words pierced like an arrow into her heart to the core, it vibrated, tears rolled, however still she danced. It was her paradise. 

'You witch stop it.' Saying this she slapped her face hard and she fell on the floor, tears jamming her eyes. But surprisingly her hands still moved in a Grace!

 Can a passion, a love be killed so easily?

Book Review of 'Mine For Tonight' by Shivangi Ramsay. 

About the author: An assistant professor in English, Shivangi loves to write passionate stories for young adults. Being a fitness freak, she loves going for long walks. Watching daily soaps on Star Plus and ZeeTV is one guilty pleasure that she can't resist indulging in from time to time. A coffee addict and a die-hard chocoholic, she loves daydreaming about brownies and cupcakes. Mine for Tonight is her second romance novel after the best selling Passionate Love. You can get in touch with her at shivangiramsay88@gmail.com.

Description: A slim and touching memoir, Shivangi Ramsay tried to create a future with the help of the love story of Ramya and Sameer. It is a lonely task, and except for a couple of surprising confessions, she pulls it off with a certain amount of flair and elan.

Plot: There are lots of things which keeps you glued to this book. 'Mine for Tonight' is a lovely poignant love story of Ramya and Sameer when one day Ramya on the eve of Christmas walks down the supermarket arena and meets Sameer. To much disgust their love does not turn up on first sight but with slow time. When years later they get together they don't know what they should be doing. Will they be ashamed for that one night stand or will things change for the better?
Then there is the exceedingly glam side of Sameer and Ramya' s life— a cornucopia of boldface names and a beautiful setting like Shillong, The Scotland of the East.

Comments: In brief,"it is a passionate tormented love story that will last in Sammer and Ramya' s life throughout their  lifetime" .

Review: At a point love stories meant heartbreaks, proposals and a tragic end. This story by Ramsay is extremely different. There is a hapy ending when we find them married and shifted to London they have a twin boy and a girl.
The high life was both dizzying and dealt with various insecurities and infidelities and condescending attitude.

Characterization: Sameer's characteristics were a lot different from Ramya' s. He was an extreme warm fuzzing boy whereas Ramya was a coy type of girl with a glare of feminism. This combination was well described by Shivangi in a clear vivid portrayal.

Reader's point of view: There were unexpected combinations which will be well accepted by the readers and being an author myself I would love to comment that it is a romantic novel but far away from being romantic, rather a soft mingle of a woman' s world, desires and a man' s in this modern era. In one word it is a must read which will be well received by the teens and young adults. 

Depression

Depression in Women:Reasons why they don't want sex

Depression is nowadays more common in women especially from developed countries like USA, CANADA, GREAT BRITAIN etc. 

1. Compared to men, women may have a stronger genetic predisposition to developing depression.

2. Compared to men, women are much more subjected to fluctuating hormone levels. This is especially the case around the time of childbirth and at the menopause, both of which are associated with an increased risk of developing depression.

Psychological explanations

3. Women are more ruminative than men, that is, they tend to think about things more—which, though a very good thing, may also predispose them to developing depression. In contrast, men are more likely to react to difficult times with stoicicism, anger, or substance misuse.

4. Women are generally more invested in relationships than men. Relationship problems are likely to affect them more, and so they are more likely to develop depression. 

Sociocultural explanations

5. Women come under more stressthan men. Not only do they have to go work just like men, but they may also be expected to bear the brunt of maintaining a home, bringing up children, caring for older relatives, and putting up with all the sexism!

6. Women live longer than men. Extreme old age is often associated with bereavement, loneliness, poor physical health, and precarity—and so with depression.

7. Women are more likely to seek out a diagnosis of depression. They are more likely to consult a physician and more likely to discuss their feelings with the physician. Conversely, physicians (whether male or female) may be more likely to make a diagnosis of depression in a woman.

Perhaps you can think of some other reasons why depression is twice as common in women than in men, in which case please do let me know!

Share! Spread! 

Depression is even common in teens. In that case consult with your parents and seek medication. 

   Review of Udai Yadla's Book: 

Review of Udai Yadla' s "A Walk In The Rain"

Story: Love is elixir that keeps you alive. Love is poison that kills you. An unreciprocated love keeps you alive but kills you everyday. These are the lines with which the blurb of the book begins. It is a story of Saloni and Sunny and their love story. Sunny is a guy who lives a life which is absolutely reclusive in nature. He spends each second of his life busy being comfortable in his memories. He is a lonesome boy whom you will find next door. Sunny however refuses to take hold of the present.
Saloni on the other hand is the woman of the night. She is a prostitute, desperate only to earn money. She does not care about exploiting others to fulfill her purpose.

The most important part of this novel is the magic of rain. When fate unites Sunny and Saloni, their journey of love and redemption starts.
Climax portion: Sunny runs after Sandy, the love of his love, but suddenly she moves out of his life. Lonesome Sunny was in the state of the superlative of lonely. He was haunted by his past for twenty years. Memories passed by him and washed him just like rain, incapable to remove them. His friend Imran promises to change Sunny's life forever. He plans a surprise birthday party for Sunny but a tragedy occurs. Imran gets killed by a stranger. His calm life turns into a distressed turbulent storm. His reluctant alliance with Saloni, the prostitute sets him onto a nerve racking adventure of life and death.

Language: With extremely flowery and simple decorating words the novel stands out from the rest. Udai Yadla' s debut work is a must read. The storyline itself draws the readers towards the climax and then till the end. The way the prologue starts and the sentence, ' Hah...my job is now complete' is an absolute new form in writing.

Review: The book in true words is an adventure. It is highly engaging, deeply impactful and lovable. Udai Yadla's affectionate first work. The sentences like 'I owe you an apology. I kept you in the dark'  will stir your heart for sure.

                      Myths about Rape

A myth is a false idea that many people believe to be true.

In many societies all over the world, people have believed and still believe in myths about what rape is and what causes it. In South Africa, the legal definition of rape has been changed; this means that our law courts now recognise what rape truly is, instead of upholding rape myths (false ideas). Sadly though, many men and women in our country still hold onto harmful myths about rape.

Why are rape myths so harmful?

• Myths lead people to blame women. We think that she was ‘asking to be raped’. Instead of holding the rapist responsible for the rape, we blame the victim. In court, defence lawyers can also use myths to attempt to undermine the testimony of the survivor. This can prevent justice from being done.
• Myths make people doubt what the victim says. We think that ‘she was not really raped’. This can mean that the victim does not get the support she needs from people around her. It can also make officials in the criminal justice system doubt her testimony, preventing justice from being done.
• Myths make rape survivors feel too ashamed or too guilty to report the rape or to share it with friends and family. The survivor ends up isolated and does not get the support she needs to help her recover from the trauma of the rape. Studies estimate that only one in nine survivors report rape. This means that most rapists walk freely among us, unpunished and ready to reoffend.
• Myths hide the fact that a rapist can come from any race, social class or environment. It makes us feel more distrustful or afraid of certain people based on stereotypes and prejudice, not based on the facts of the situation. It makes us believe that we can tell what makes someone a rapist when this is not the case.
• Myths make us believe that we can prevent rape from happening to us. This stops us from addressing the real sources of the problem, for example people’s attitudes to violence and to relationships between men and women, also known as gender relations.

Myths take away the dignity and humanity of the survivor, causing her more trauma and pain and lowering her chances of recovery. Myths also prevent many rapists from being prosecuted. It is vital that all of us in society reject these myths, so that survivors may fully recover and more rapists be convicted.

Note: Many of these myths and facts refer to rape between a man and a woman and the ideas that people have about this. It is important to realise that rape can happen between same sex partners as well and that thinking that rape can only happen between a man and a woman is also a myth. In certain rare instances women have been known to rape men but at Rape Crisis we have found this to be the exception rather than the rule and so we base our comments on rape between a man and a woman realising that each rape is unique even as we generalise about it.

MYTH: A woman who gets drunk is inviting rape.

The truth is that both men and women sometimes get drunk – it is not a crime to drink, it is a crime to rape.

TRUTH: A person that is too drunk might be incapable of consenting to sex; sex without consent is rape.

MYTH: It’s not rape if a woman wears revealing clothing, because then she wants sex.

Sex without consent is always rape, no matter what the circumstances. Just because a woman wears a short skirt or a revealing top does not always mean that she is sending out a signal that she is available for sex. A woman always has the right to choose if, when and with whom she has sex.

TRUTH: When a woman wears revealing clothes she is not actively consenting to sex – she must still be able to deny her consent to sex if she chooses to.

MYTH: Women who wear revealing clothing invite men to rape them.

Appearance and clothing have nothing to do with who gets raped. Women are raped no matter what they wear: babies in nappies, old women in tracksuits and nuns in habits also get raped.

TRUTH: Clothing does not determine who gets raped.

If men are attracted by our curves and breasts then it is not our problem. We will again wear short exposing dresses. If men wants to rape still let them know that their Manhood can also be trimmed for Crissakes!